Still under construction.

I managed to change a few more things around. Yay. Now it looks wider. Takes up more space of the page. Nicer.

But hor, I still can't manage to make my sidebar wider. Weird. Don't know why.

Will explore more into it soon.
Will change font colours soon too.
Might change background too.
Will continue to play around until it looks satisfactory.

So bear with me for now.

Under construction.

I got bored of working on my MASCA list, so I started messing around with the fonts and colours of this blog. Now the fonts seem more elegant, but the colours have become mundane. It's all just different shades of purple, you'd think I have a secret fetish for purple. I do not. I do have one for orange though.

I also took off my picture, in the hope of putting a new one in, conveniently forgetting how to put a new picture up. So, now I'm stuck with none till I figure it out.

Owh well, I shall start revising for my COMP2410, with which I can brush up on my HTML, and then make this page look pretty.

Blah. I'm bored. It's late and I should sleep. Righty o, sleep it is then.

Late night deep thought.

I was bored because no one was replying me on MSN. And I am very sleepy cause I've only had 2 and a half hours' of sleep. But somehow I just didn't want to go to sleep.

I ran out of the normal pages that I visit, so I googled "bored".
Result = Bored.com

And then I saw this link to Parables. And I clicked.

And there were these beautiful stories. Read them.

I shall include my favourite one here, in case you aren't up for visiting the site.

Parable of the Carrot, Egg, and Coffee

You may never look at a CUP OF COFFEE the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you can get better and change the situation around you with God's help.

How do you handle adversity? When adversity strikes, ask yourself...ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

For now, I think I'm the egg.

I think I'm stupid.

I think I am either really stupid or that I can never survive as a conman and have to earn an honest living. Enough said.

Untitled.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Fed up.

1. I'm fed up with MASCA. Problems never cease to crop up. Problems are created from nothing. Stupid MASCA VIC has just added a $20 to the already exorbitant cost that they're charging us.
2. I'm fed up with my internet. I came home yesterday to find it not working. I spent one hour trying to fix it, but to no avail. I woke up this morning, late for class, and was deciding whether to attend the lab by checking up on what the lab is about. No internet, can't check. Spent the next one hour plus calling Optus to try to fix it. End result: they'll send a technician two days from now, and have offered me complimentary dial-up service, for which I have to pay my own call costs. Oh the catch (besides the call costs), there is a 5-hour session limit and a 20-minute idle time limit for which I have to keep reconnecting => extra call costs.
3. I'm fed up with my slow computer. I think I have too much stuff or too small a RAM. I like everything else except its lagginess.
4. I'm fed up with loneliness. It's the exam time, which means many people are not up for hanging out cause they're busy studying. I, on the other hand, am not the biggest studying person, therefore have nothing to do.
   
5. I'm fed up with my loss of Chia Pei's student card, i.e. my Fenner access card. I have no idea where I lost it or how I did. I'm hoping I can find it. Or whoever does, returns it to her.
6. I'm fed up with annoying people around me. Stop annoying me. Thank you.
7. I'm fed up with the many things that are faulty around the house. The weird pipe. The stove fire. The stove light.
   
8. Lastly, I'm fed up with myself. My laziness. My procrastination. Will I ever change?

I shall just curl up into a ball and hide under the covers and I will wake up when all in the world is right again.

P.S. Please do forgive me if I'm snappy, in any way.
P.P.S. If you see me around, and I'm not my normal self, it'd be good to get a hug. Thanks in advance.

Old? I think not!

Very interesting birthday wishes so far.

Wai Yee and Zach got me a cake and passed it to me during our badminton session just cause they didn't want to piss my boss off by bringing it to work tomorrow.

My aunt followed with a "You want me to say it now or do you want me to call you tomorrow?".

Then there was the classic Phoebe.
Scene : I just went into the toilet. Phone rang. Rach picks it up.
What I hear : "Huh? I don't know! What the hell?"
*Footsteps coming closer to the toilet*
Rach : Erm, xin, Phoebe wants to know when you'll be coming out of the toilet.
Me : Whua? Soon?
Rach : Erm, Phoebe asked me to pass the phone to you. So do you want to open the door so that I can pass it to you?
Me : Erm...oookaay... *opens door and takes phone* Hello?
Phoebe : Girl, I'm going to sleep adi, so I wish you happy birthday first ya?
Me : Thank you, but couldn't you wait till I came out of the toilet?
Phoebe : I'm going to sleep adi. Haha, I bet your pants are down now.
Me : Erm...I AM in the toilet for a reason you know.
Phoebe : Haha. Okayla, I'm going to sleep. Happy birthday!
Me : Good night. Thanks.

Weird? I say yes.

And then Miss Tan calls and wishes the same thing. The going-to-sleep-and-so-I-wish-you-first line.

And then Willy calls 5 miliseconds after I put down the phone from Miss Tan and the first thing I said was "Are you sleeping too?". And he was like "No, I'm in CSIT." and he went on to talking about how stressed he was over his assignment.

And then, later, half updating my blog with my Mother's Day post, there was a knock on my door. I was like HUH? And Rach looked as if she has been waiting all these time. And I was like WHO?

And then, half a dozen people (Diong, Ah Boy, Ah Tan, Cheok, Miss Tan & Bassie) appeared at my door, with a cake with lots of pretty candles on it (still don't know why there's 23 on it though). And then sing song! And then I took picture. And then I blow out candles. And then I so happy laaa.

Owh, I forgot my birthday egg. My birthday egg which says "Happy birthday! Assume that its a hong kai tan lah! Hehe. UR 20! YAY". So cute lah. Thanks Miss Tan! =) As I'm typing this, I'm peeling my egg. Just ate it. Yum! Tastes so much better with all the love in it!

And there was a wish from Suba all the way from Melbourne.

And one from Kelly, who doesn't usually sleep late, until Beng came along of course.

And then a call from my beloved Ah Shun, who, I am so sorry, I couldn't hear half the time cause of the noise in my room due to the half a dozen of people.

And not to forget, Alvin, through Rach, on MSN.

And then, I was brought out for supper! All the way to some ulu place near the Belconnen bus interchange, where there's a dodgy-looking van which sells fast food. Willy, Ah Tan, Cheok and Diong all had Grogbobs/Grogbogs/Crockbocks (you get the pronounciation la) and to be on the safe side I had an Egg and Bacon roll. You can never go wrong with an egg and bacon roll.

And the grogbob/grogbog/crockbock actually had no beef in it, so I ended up leeching Cheok and Ah Tan's. Yummy mummy. Totally yummy supper in a dingy area.

That concludes it for now. I'm sure there'll be more interesting wishes by the end of the day. Though I'm quite sure Phoebe's will beat everyone else's hands down. =)

Mommy dearest...

And the time of the year comes when we're reminded of what our mothers have done for us. Though this day, the second Sunday of May every year is especially dedicated to mothers all around the world, we should remember to cherish them everyday, with every chance that we get.

Quoting my mommy's favourite singer, I'd like to dedicate this to her.

Momma
You gave life to me
Turned your baby into a lady

Momma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

Momma
You gave love to me
Turned your young one into a woman

Momma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me

'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

You'll always be there every time I call
You offered me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes

And when you need me
I'll be there for you all the way
I'll be there all life through
I'll be there this I guarantee

Momma
I'll be there through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes

Mommy, I love you and I miss you so much. I know you had a great day with big koh, and I'm glad he took this opportunity to show you how much he loves you too.

Muaxxxx!!

Make me feel stupid, why don't you?

So today was the day of the Golden Key New Members' Induction Ceremony.


History: Golden Key is this Honour Society where the top 15% of the ANU students are specially INVITED to join.

No, I wasn't one of them. I just happen to hang out with THREE of them. Though I know more of those new members. Gosh, I hang out with smarties. So intimidating. Ah Tan, Ah Boy and Di Di are part of the top 15% in ANU la. They super duper uber smart arses la.

So I don't know why I went to their ceremony as their guest lo. So cow cow boring. Speech after speech. At least they end up with this cool certificate at the end of the night. Me? Nothing, but a waste of a few hours in my life. How sad.

Well, they divided up the members and the guests on different sides of the hall. On the guest's side was Jon Oh, Hong Yin and I. Just the sad three of us. Except, Jon wasn't so sad since he himself is a Golden Key member too. And Hong Yin was there for her boyfriend (Will) and I was there for...urm...I was there.

So Hong Yin and I felt stupid la. Cause we were in a room of top students. And we weren't part of the crowd. So we took pictures. Haha.


So, at the end of the night, I was put up to a challenge, by the three of them, to be a Golden Key member next semester. I.e. be the top 15% next semester. I took them up.

I think I really am stupid.

Walking is a painful ordeal.

If I've never felt old before, the past few days sure has given me a glimpse of life 40 years into the future. The time when my body aches with every single movement and it's hard to walk without help. Or to sit and need help getting up.

Muscle aches. That's the cause. Pure agonising horrible muscle aches. Well, yes, I DID bring it onto myself. But hehs, no regrets. I had fun while it lasted.

For those who are extremely lost, the MASCA (Malaysian Students' Council of Australia), which I'm committee of, recently hosted a Sports Carnival. I syiok and gung ho joined two sports. Two only ma, you say. Netball and badminton only. True, it is ONLY two sports. But to be playing consecutively with a maximum of 5-minute breaks in between is bad and detrimental to my muscle health.

I started the day off with a game of netball, lost that. Right after, I had my first round of badminton singles. Won that. Followed closely after, my second round of badminton singles. Won that too. Followed again with ANOTHER round of badminton singles, the semi-finals this time. Lost that to my darling Miss Tan, whom I've played with quite a few times and yet manage to not beat her even once. That marks the end of my badminton singles legacy.

Right after I lost, I had a short rest, and then my second game of netball followed. This time, not only did we lose, we got trashed. Like 20 something to 5 or something to that effect. But hey, we didn't get a zero, and we were terrifically proud of that.

And then straight up next was my round of badminton mixed doubles. Sorry Ah Boy, we could've won if we tried harder. Lost that, and finally, that was the end of my day. NOT.

As committee I had to stay for the whole event. There was still games going on. So there I stayed. Games of finals of badminton. Games of futsal. One injury. Not on me. But on a good friend. Pretty bad one too. Needed 7 stitches.

And next day, couldn't get myself to wake up. Was late for Sports Carnival day 2. Stayed all day out in the sun. Tennis, you see. By then my legs were wobbly.

And then at night I went out to Fenner for dinner. Had dinner, came home, CRASHED.

Crashed till the next day too. Took me ten minutes to pull myself out of bed to get to work. Ten minutes to not wake up. Ten minutes to pull myself out. As in to get up. I was in THAT bad a shape. Dragged my sore feet to work. Worked the entire day for 6 and a half hours. Standing, carrying boxes and stuff. By the time I got home, I really WAS dead.

Good news, now at least I'm walking in a straight-er line. It still hurts, but I'll heal.

When I do, badminton and netball, here I come again!