Me The Housekeeper

Today is cleaning-up-house day for PJ and I. Thanks to Grandma that is. I mean what's with her using us as *cough*maid*cough* housekeepers? We're here to rent, old lady! We don't pay to help you clean up your house. (Whoever does that?)

Anyway, for those who do not know it yet, I live in a sharehouse. Owned by an old lady who I call Grandma because she's the Grandma of the homestay family I lived with last year. And ever since I had PJ as my roommate, Grandma has been going to her new house in Bredbo every half of the week from Thursday to Sunday, returning on Monday.

So the thing is, every Thursday, Grandma would leave this note for PJ and I to read. Usually this note contains reminders and whachamachallits. But this week, I don't consider it a note. I would call it an essay, if not a thesis, or even a prototype or a novel if I want to exaggerate it more. The thing is, yes, from the top, you would've figured, it was a list of housework for us to do. Wait, a list of houseworks undermines what it contains. Allow me to rephrase. A loooooong note telling us how wonderful tenants we are BUT WE SHOULD BLABLABLABLABLA...(So contradicting I tell you. Mess with my head only.)

Basically we had to clean up the entire house. From the kitchen to the laundry, from the toilet and bathrooms to our rooms. She *gasps* vacuumed the lounge room already. Ohohohoh...talking bout the vacuum. Oh I'll get to that later.

Anyway, I shall start with the staircase. Yes, the staircase too.

Quoting from her 'novel':

1. Use old wettex to wipe up dust on staircase
2. Do not sweep the dust onto filing cabinets below - sweep it into your hand and dispose of in rubbish

What the? 'Use wettex' for the entire staircase? I think she hasn't used the mop before. Or heard of it. And 'sweep it into your hands'? Siao eh. Use la this thing call dustpan. Seriously. And of course I used those. Her writing I should use a wettex and my hands doesn't mean I will.

And then we move on to my personal favourite. The vacuum!

The vacuum!

The vacuum with my hand for size comparison

And again, quoting from her 'novel':

1. Plug in to power point
2. Turn on power switch

I mean, SERIOUSLY? I so didn't know you had to do those to work the vacuum! I thought I could just stick the plug into my behind, say vroom and it'll magically clean up my room!

And from the pics, I (hope) you can gather that it's a pretty old one. I call it the 'old sex machine'. See? I love it so much I even named it. Why the 'old sex machine' you ask. It takes forever to suck and says vroom at this really deep sound. Very appealing, very sexy. I mean I aged about 3 times as fast while vacuuming my room I tell you.

And it should be good for you to know, vacuuming was the last of today's duties. PJ and I cleaned up the kitchen yesterday (the horror of the 10-thousand-years-uncleaned-toaster is something I won't be forgetting anytime soon) and PJ did the toilet and bathroom. Poor her. No matter how hard she scrubs the darn thing Grandma isn't happy. I should take a picture of it now and then see what's the difference when Grandma cleans it next week.

AANYWAAAY, my day as a housekeeper has ended. Now I'm going to revolve back into the messy pot that I am. Good day to you.