Bobby.

I came across this while I was idly stalking Facebook.

Bobby the Falafel House Yiros Master
1. Bobby can sneeze with his eyes open.
2. If you have 5 dollars and Bobby has 5 dollars, Bobby has more money than you
3. When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Bobby
4. Bobby doesn't read books, he stares them down till he gets the information he needs.
5. Bobby doesn't sleep. He waits.
6. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Bobby has allowed to live.
7. Bobby is the reason why Waldo is hiding
8. Bobby counted to infinity--------TWICE
9. Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Bobby
10. Bobby can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
11. There is no ctrl button on Bobby's computer. Bobby is always in control.
12. Apple pays Bobby 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
13. Bobby can kill two stones with one bird.
14. Bobby does not get frostbites. Bobby bites frost
15. Bobby's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
16. When Bobby was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10.35am, he kicked the store until it became a Wendy's.
17. Bobby doesn't really write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
18. Bobby can divide by zero.
19. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Bobby the Yiros guy is worth 1 billion words
20. When urinating, Bobby is certainly capable of welding titanium
21. Bobby does not throw up when he drinks too much. Bobby throws down.
22. If you google search Bobby getting his ass kicked, your search will return 0 results. That sort of thing just doesn't happen.
23. Bobby doesn't believe in Germany
24. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Bobby lives in Adelaide
25. Bobby is responsible for over population in China. He once hosted a karaoke night in Beijing and every woman in a 1000 block radius automatically got pregnant.
26. When Bobby is doing a push up...He is not pushing him self up, he is pushing the Earth down.
27. Bobby does not style his hair. It is perfectly in place due to sheer terror.
28. If at first you don't succeed, you are not Bobby the Yiros guy
29. Bobby can slam a revolving door.
30. Bobby did in fact build Rome in a day

I read it all, and went

HUH?!?